Not sure why I revisited this page today. May have been because a friend said she missed having a father.
Too painful to reread all of this. I do want to state plainly. While there was suggested incest throughout all of this that bothered me at the time. But the real hurt was finding he was a bigot and a racist. The ultimate insult was the ballet classes and his idea that I was not agile enough. Oh well we all grow and grow up I hope and leave behind any damage a parent may have tried to inflict upon us because they too were abused.
***
July 4 2018
Dad's letters to me
Back in the Winter during a power outage brought on by a Nor Easter storm ripping through here 3 times I sorted stuff. Part of that stuff was letters from my father.
My parents were divorced in 1964. My father left Cape Cod and moved back to Pennsylvania in 1965 he died in 1985. I never saw him after 1965.
After doing that sorting I made note of his different mail address for 20 years. Just yesterday I entered that in my tree on ancestry. I promised myself when I felt strong I would reread these letters. Well nothing like Independence Day to do just that. Doesn't mean I feel stronger just have nothing better to do on a hot day, sun too strong for me.
Doing research on people and my family tree sure has brought forth a lot of interesting things and made for a better understanding of people in general.
Well tea ready and I sit here sorting by date. Even that was tough. Ran across greeting cards with no dates. Brutal. I actually have saved two copies of letters I sent to him! Amazing I did not make copies of all my correspondence but ,well.
I will try to have my comments in italics,
the rest is excerpts from the letters
So here we go.
1964- 1969
too difficult to keep them in total order I am sure it doesn't matter much as they will have an impact anyway.
Sept 1967 looks like he is living with his brother.
oh yikes it is a letter from his brother Bill telling me that a letter and a post card I sent to Rene was still there. Bill hadn't seen him much and he had to tell him to move out because of his drinking. Then as Bill said miracle of miracles he stopped drinking. He still had not been by to pick up his mail. Oh and Bill mentions that Rene may not be by because Rene owes Bill money.
LOL
**
February 1965
okay this one is warning me that if I do not get mail it is because Jack or Mom intercepted it.
LOL I have had my own mail box address for YEARS.
Then he goes on to tell me that the police and neighbor's have kept him informed on what is going on up here.
oh great like that is reliable!
Then he talks about Jer and I going to Pennsylvania and to contact Gersh Hall and have custody reversed.
oh dear.
**
March 13 1965
Now this was gossipy. Talking about Gary Hacket's ex wife being picked up by Alvin Davis. Dad worked across the street from where she lived and saw the goings on.! LOL Also apparently Jack had accused Mom of playing footsie with Alvin.
then saying he's not a preacher but there is a god you can see it around you- not that I have to believe in Jesus Christ.
I have to laugh at this. I have been an atheist since I was 10 yers old . LOL
Then speaking of moving back to Philadelphia where he was born and raised and referring to Saint John's Settlement House in the back of Temple University.
Back to practicing the fiddle
***
April 1965
I guess I wrote that I was unhappy- big surprise a teenager being unhappy. His advice was get a job and
wonder why he advised that I use Mom's typewriter????
He thinks I would be happier around a big city. Roger apparently thinks differently
ah George Hall and advice about Mom's engagement ring. That I should have it if Mom isn't using it and that the ring is legally Rene's etc.
oh boy
A note at the end I could cut off and give to George if he has the rings.
***
April 19 1965
He is sending me writing paper and stamps. He has a job at Harvest House as a baker
**
April 20 either 1965 0r 1968
Talk of his unemployment benefits and starting his new job as a baker and how he will be sending more money etc. Then telling me he put 7,000 miles on his car looking for work and the roof is ragged.
wow he visits the farm where he summered as a child he mentions how it should be left to me and Jerry. He mentions the name Henry and McEwensville and mentions Grace the woman his mother was named after.
Amazing as I was researching Grace Elliott it was fascinating- she married late in life and died young. For my father to be mentioning her husband Henry in 1965 and I found out about them in 2015
all this and more written on the reverse side of his resume.
***
April 11 1965
apologizing for being late writing back but busy looking for a job- he failed the physical with republic Steel has prospects with selling VWs or stress testing concrete etc. Talks of Bill and Sarge having company but he felt depressed and went out for a drive and went up on the mountain behind their home and watched the city lights. He is sending a microscope to Jerry for his birthday when he figures out how to pack it. I actually remember this coming in the mail!
***
March 18 1965
Talks of the appeal he has about child support.
in the next breath talking about moving back to Philly where the niggers are and working for Welfare department. The next breath warning me about a 35 year old man driving around the beaches picking up girls like me playing loud music we like etc.
ha ha ha talking about me keeping Jerry interested in school and if I all in love with someone without a college education to keep at him even if i have to bribe him physically.
still laughing.
6,000 miles on his car looking for a job. Brother Bill at Atlantic City on a convention for work.
***
March 15 1965
Denied unemployment benefits from Massachusetts.
ugh
***
October 10 1965
telling me to stick it out at school and ignore Alcock's heckling, and how I can tell the audience when I graduate what a prick Alcock is . Then how no drop outs ever succeed etc. oh dear.
How he was called urine pee pee and piss for short because of his name and spent 6 years in Summer school
His brother Bill was called Runt and Squirt
Says he sent more to Mom as support hoping to send at least 15 if not 50 unless he gets canned.
Says he still loves my mother.
***
September 5 1965
I 'm 45 and know more about men than you'll ever know.
should I even finish reading this I am feeling mighty sarcastic.
Bashing mom because I quit school.
on and on how he helped the schools library etc and how the teachers were behind me 100% and would tutor free.
ugh too much
He drove past old Springfield house and home has been built on the corner , our house 60 Duncan Lane still has no lawn- too cheap to buy top soil.
um so were we LOL
Advice about Dude etc. makes me wonder what the fuck I wrote about him to my father good grief.
Town says Jack was no good and they abhorred him He drove his first wife to suicide etc. But says he ( Jack) should be guilty of murder not her of suicide.
He wishes I would take up with Michael ( meaning Michael Sampson) as he will be on top of the world someday.
He is still waiting for the 200 dollars from Joe Murphy.
***
June 4 1965
ah this one apparently I had complained about Mom & Jack and he tells me there is nothing he can do until I am 18. and to keep the swearing out of letters to him. Avis Elliott would surely put me up. She was Dave Elliott's mother and worked at the Sandpiper.
Talks of getting a loan and opening a donut shop down there.
Cape too small townish for him.
***
November 14 1965
I must being doing well at school as that is mentioned.
Mini lecture about premarital sex and the bible.
let him know so he can add maternity to the hospitalization plan.
what??
He has moved to Koch's Motel in this letter. 15.00 a week kitchen bathroom bedroom and television
He hopes I have been getting the checks as he hasn't heard.
oh boy.
**
November 28 1965
He received my letter and not asking any names just hopes I am in love.
His new job not paying as well and he is late with the checks up here because he has to wait for his paychecks to clear. He is still answering ads in Philadelphia.
He still eats dinner at Bill's and babysits occasionally. He worked even though sick because he is the only one who knows his route. Tells us he has an insurance policy that Jerry and I are to split but do not tell Mom or Jack etc.
She hope Mom hasn't turned Jerry against him.
I remember Jerry's answer distinctly about this! No he did it himself.
oh dear.
He missed my phone call as he was out. Waited at Bill's then went home still feeling sick.
***
October 31 1965
He hasn't heard from me and wondered if I was okay.
I wonder what that was about I usually answered letters promptly. He now has a bank account but waits for the balance to clear before sending anything up here. He hopes I stay in school Have I seen the Comet?
Nice warm weather but before that hell for a breadman with it cold as hell and raining pitchforks.
Missing us all and would visit but sure he would never leave he is feeling very melancholy.
***
January 28 1966
okay this has got to be the hool as that is mentioned.
Mini lecture about premarital sex and the bible.
let him know so he can add maternity to the hospitaliztion plan.
what??
He has moved to Koch's Motel in this letter. 15.00 a week kitchen bathroom bedroom and television
He hopes I have been getting the checks as he hasn't heard.
oh boy.
**
November 28 1965
He received my letter and not asking any names just hopes I am in love.
His new job not paying as well and he is late with the checks up here because he has to wait for his paychecks to clear. He is still answering ads in Philadelphia.
He still eats dinner at Bill's and babysits occasionally. He worked even though sick because he is the only one who knows his route. Tells us he has an insurance policy that Jerry and I are to split but do not tell Mom or Jack etc.
She hope Mom hasn't turned Jerry against him.
I remember Jerry's answer distinctly about this! No he did it himself.
oh dear.
He missed my phone call as he was out. Waited at Bill's then went home still feeling sick.
***
October 31 1965
He hasn't heard from me and wondered if I was okay.
I wonder what that was about I usually answered letters promptly. He now has a bank account but waits for the balance to clear before sending anything up here. He hopes I stay in school Have I seen the Comet?
Nice warm weather but before that hell for a breadman with it cold as hell and raining pitchforks.
Missing us all and would visit but sure he would never leave he is feeling very melancholy.
***
January 28 1966
okay this has got to be the saddest one so far.
saddest one so far.
" I was tickled pink to hear from Jerry finally. I waited almost a year. I was frantic thinking you'd maybe forgotten me and the only thing that keeps me working is thinking of you two."
Bad day on his route- brutal conditions that he compared to being in Germany -4 degrees and never went about 12. He has walking pneumonia
on to how great the German soldier was in discipline and training.
Mentions Jerry's accident- must have been when he fell backwards at the library and split his head open. Dad was glad it wasn't at the bowling alley. And glad the microscope helped with the science fair.
Tells of how his classmate's would threaten to beat him up if he took his violin home...
he is sorry to hear I quit school.
asks if I still have my sewer clogger or do I shave now. adds- see I remember the old days.
it was a filter clogger not a sewer clogger.
oh dear.
January 3 I imagine 1965 no year date.
Taking off for Pennsylvania, not going off to get married either ( my mother married Jack Dec 24 1964)
Headed for W Newton to see a girl he hasn't seen since 1937. I wonder if it was Marion Beasley. Still living with her parents.
Headed to the refinery first then to Bill's if he cannot land a job
Hope we will always keep in touch and remember him.
Thinking he will lose us both.
***
November 6 1964
Hears I am working at North Port restaurant.
I never worked there. I was working at Ron's Sandwich shop maybe.
Still doesn't approve of me quitting school. And I must have mentioned I wanted to join the service- he did not like that as we were in the 25 year cycle for wars and he would never see me again. Then he ends with an address for Colonel Barbara Bishop.
***
note no date that he is still waiting for unemployment benefits of 3 weeks and wants me to give the check to Mom. Training for a sales job that would pay 15,000 a year.
***
April 26 196??? 4 or 8
starts: hope you will read this letter with understanding
I love you as only a father can love his daughter.
talks about suppressing emotions and self destruction.
Spent money on stoves etc because he knew I was a good cook.
Paid for ballet lessons but after a while checked on my progress and stopped those. I am definitely not agile.
NEWS FLASH PARENTS THE WORLD OVER- BALLET IS NOT ABOUT BEING AGILE
**
letter I sent him November 1967 returned no forward address.
**
January 11 1967
birthday card
August 1965
I must have sent a letter asking for employment, hand written rejection telling me to go back to school
sign J H Schertle
I have no clue who that is. no return address on envelope.
***
March 2 1965
glad to receive my letter as he was down - no more unemployment from Massachusetts.
More advice about Dude and his father and that the gossip is Alvin is running around with Gary Hacket's ex wife.
Walter Love's son- he's one the girls have to watch for- just like his father.
Talks of the rumor of Jack's youngest daughter playing the town ( meaning sleeping with everyone) and that is why she was staying at her aunts and under a psychiatrist's care. Discusses my statement of never wanting to marry and he thinks it is because of the environment and not to marry because I am bored. Find out his interests and if he makes a pass on first date- not for you.
I should start going to church again He is back to going to church again hadn't been since 1958.
Dan thinks when Rene leaves each day he is coming back here. Dan is 4 years old at this time.
***
May 26 1965
at last mentions Marion Beasley married to a Charles Ellis. 6 children
ELLIS
MARIAN B., on May 24, 2008, of West Grove, formerly of Drexel Hill. Wife of Charles S. Ellis, Jr. Surv. by 6 children, Katherine J. McClatchy, Charles S. Ellis III, Sarah L. Lester, Robert F. Ellis, Dr. Christine Ellis, and Joseph J. Ellis; 17 grandchildren; 7 great-grandchildren; sister Kathryn Lawley of Drexel Hill. Mass of Christian Burial 11 A.M. Tues., May 27 at Assumption BVM Church, 300 State Rd., West Grove. Friends may call at church after 10 A.M. Interment private. EDWARD L. COLLINS FUNERAL HOME, INC., OXFORD. 610-932-9584
Published on Philly.com on May 26, 2008
Marian B Ellis
United States Social Security Death Index
birth:
10 January 1922
death:
24 May 2008
West grove, Chester, Pennsylvania
Birthplace
Joseph J Beasley Head M 46 Pennsylvania
Kathryn C Beasley Wife F 44 New Jersey
Joseph J Beasley Son M 23 Pennsylvania
William J Beasley Son M 21 Pennsylvania
Edward J Beasley Son M 19 Pennsylvania
Catharine C Beasley Daughter F 15 Pennsylvania
Robert E Beasley Son M 13 Pennsylvania
Marian Beasley Daughter F 8 Pennsylvania
Charles H Beasley Father M 89 Virginia
mentions Jer's science fair project getting a B. Nancy Weintz, Clem Eldredge etc on the school committee.
Mentions playing the violin- fiddle after 20 years- Mozart Violin concerto and Kreutzer etudes.
Mentions Alvin Davis attempting suicide. Clem Eldredge was apparently a gossip monger who told my father that Alvin's first wife was screwing everything.
ugh small towns.
**
May 2 1965
Kind of repetitious glad Jerry liked the microscope then tells me there is no danger in handling dead animals and dissecting them. And he hopes I get interested in something like it.
Science was always my favorite subject makes me wonder if parents pay attention at all! LOL
He hopes my nerves clear up- his cleared up when he left the Cape
He plays violin with Bill and other friends I believe piano and organ. I know Bill played organ in churches.
They all have a hell of a good time.
He is sitting in his car while his wash is getting done and asks if I have gotten my license yet.
I got a learner's permit when I was 16. That lapsed because I had no money. Got a license July 5 1985.
**
January 20 1965.
Glad to hear from me on my birthday- did I get my card.
Bill and Sarge bought him new dress shoes had his clothes cleaned and pressed and shirts ironed. Thanks me for the shirt I sent him for Christmas.
It was snowing when he left the Cape- 2 inches in Providence. He was going to stop by and see Dot and Hope but the weather looked too bad. 7 inches by the time he got to George Washington Bridge.
He is proud of how I express myself in words. And mentions that John Elliott thought a lot of my talent.
Probably made that up but if true would have been nice for the teacher to tell me that.
Ah he did not stop to see Charlotte Thornbury in West Newton as planned. When he mentioned that in one of the first letters no name came up. I will investigate that.
https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/171184250/charlotte-rae-thornbury
Charlotte R Thornbury
United States Social Security Death Index
birth:
19 November 1920
death:
25 September 2005
Middlesex, Massachusetts
Of West Newton died Sunday, September 25, 2005 quietly in her home where she had lived with her family since the 1940's. A graduate of Sullins College and University of Pennsylvania, Miss Thornbury was very active in Newton republican politics, as well as state and national campaigns. A longtime member and past president of the Newton Women's Republican Club, attending presidential nominating conventions, working tirelessly on elections, carrying a sign, or helping at the polling places. She devoted years of service to the process of politics and enjoyed traveling to Europe and the British Isles. Miss Thornbury is survived by two sisters-in-law, nieces and nephews, grand nieces and grand nephews. A beloved Aunt who was a month away from her 85th birthday. She was predeceased by her parents, Dudley and Ora (Burson) Thornbury and her brothers Donald A. and William E. Thornbury. A Memorial Service will be held at the Newton Cemetery Chapel, 791 Walnut St., NEWTON, Friday, September 30, 2005 at 2 pm. Blackington, Conroy & Hayes (800) 585-6939
^^^ the above is part of a six page letter written on notebook paper- I should have finished it last night as now it is confusing picking up where I left off!
so
ah touches on why he was mad at Gulf? blames Mom for not going to Gulf functions. blah blah blah she was like a milestone around his neck.
I remember Mom reading this and laughing about the milestone part.
when he gets a job he will get an apartment and we are welcome to visit.
bashing mom for a paragraph. ugh
***
January 2 1967
another 4 sides of notebook paper. sorry he has taken so long to answer letters. He hasn't even seen his brother in 2 months and had 2 heart attacks since Thanksgiving that landed him in the hospital with no way to pay afterwards since he is still out of work
Mentioned Dr Paden dying. Asked about Dot and children. Saying he is not sending anymore money to mom.
Hershey bakery went out of business 2 weeks after he quit them and they owed him 151.00 and said that he owed it to them.
oh dear
on and on about other women like Mom who bled their husbands and stole their bank accounts.
Mentions Bill Ohman and whether he got back with his wife.
How Bill had shorthand notes of conversations of phone calls from mom to both Bill and Grace.
gotta laugh after 4 pages of bashing he says he hopes he sees us soon , us meaning me and Jerry Love Dad
just kind of funny now- probably infuriated me back then or made me cry
***
January 13 1965
postcard from Harrisburg saying how it snowed when he left Chatham etc.
***
August 1966
letter I wrote him to the Grayson address returned.
***
Decemeber 16 1969
long letter and card returned that Jer & I sent to him
***
December 6 1965
Letter from him with enclosure of
URGENT
we have a top flight position that fits your background
from Business mens clearing house in Philadelphia
He is tickled pink that I got on the honor roll. He never did so he says
Hopes I am not falling for Dave Elliott as he is the only male he knows who has a pierced ear. advises against him because of his ego and lying.
***
March 31 1966
He is tired and it is only 6:20pm wishes he had stayed in the donut business it and Gulf would have never burned if he was in charge. He lost a friend at Gulf- punch in and died. All his father's friends are phonies- they never appreciate anything nor reply to his inqueries.
He heard I had German measles.
yes Mom and I did.
Asked if I was pregnant and then goes on to explain his insurance does not cover pregnancy etc.
He has toothaches and hemorrhoids and doesn't know what to do etc He has something to send me for easter. Still wishes I was back in school
He hopes Jerry goes to college and hopes he isn't a draft card burner and then bashes Cassius Clay Then onto States and bible and killing.
He sees children on his route that look like Jer and me except the girl is carrying a violin. He could have taught me- I was his task. etc
***
December 8 1967 or 1969
it is a smudged short message water or tears blotted out the center of it. He has been in and out of hospitals for 3 years with cardiac and pulmonary embolisms. what killed his father. If anything happens to him his brother will let us know. Wishes us a happy new year and merry christmas.
irony- the brother Bill died in March of 1985 aand Rene died in July of 1985 but cousin Bill is the one who called Mom.
***
Janury 20 1971
a card to a Honey of a daughter Love Dad
***
April 1970 addressed to Jerry and me
He is depressed and poor and would love to see us but has no car and rarely sees his brother. He cannot even afford bus fare
He hopes everyone is well . apparently he doesn't know Ma Chrystie died in 1967 as he hoped " Mother and Dad and Roger were okay.
***
November 1972
He resigned from a job he could not walk that far to and now works for Kayo Oil company a gas station 1.60 an hour 7 days a week I really bust my nuts etc and stay drunk most the time when he can afford it. Goes to the American Legion to get drunk. Wishes he could see us before he dies but knows that won't happen. Been without a woman for 4 years one hell of a long time.
to paraphrase.
***
July 6 1972
typed out message to Dad about his prolonged silence.
October 5 1972
He has sat down many time to write but never completed the letters.
His trial comes up next Tuesday he may lose his license his car and his job all at once and maybe jail time. Doctor says he has a severe case of diabetes. Not bad enough for insulin though. He wishes Joe Lynam could defend him.
***
July 11 1972
I am not trying to be melodramatic but has newspapers about the flood of the century but no time to send them. Was at his brother's and told I called, he hadn't seen his brother in over a year. Bill Jr goes to take his physical
I assume that means for Vietnam?
Now living with 3 Master Sergeants retired but at the same address as before 6211 Blue Ridge Love to you both Dad Rene.
***
May 13 1972
nothing new , still no money and poor paying job hardly ever sees his brother
so poor and ashamed of himself that he doesn't even try to contact us. He's a little bit drunk and asking to excuse his spelling. He wonders if we have married or Jerry changed his name to Cook... living with 4 master sergeants. Remembering the good times and the ballet lessons and what a flop. but I was a good ice skater. Afraid of going to jail because he cannot raise bail.
again with the ballet = flop
***
November 28 1972
Still at Kayo oil co, 7 days a week walking 3 1/2 miles He has a puppy not his but...
***
October 1972
having trouble getting this out of the envelope.
Post card of a covered bridge- lost his license looking for another job will send papers about the flood
I do not remember ever getting the papers but may have and they were lost in a move.
letter: the police were very courteous his blood alcohol was .247 if it had been .25 he would have been in the morgue. He is drunk writing this and wondering if he can walk the distance to get to his job... the past February he slept on the stage at American Legion for 3 days as there was 18 inches of snow- he fell flat on his face in front of the house of a friend. Still have my children to hell with the license.
**
July 19 1972
working for Milton H Eshelman Sycamore street in Harrisburg making 2.14 an hour purchases equipment etc
He was sorry to hear about Ma Chrystie they were wonderful people He often wondered about old Dad but ashamed to ask about Ma as she was the one who told your mother to divorce me. Update on Debbie she remind him of me and Bill will be called up soon and Bobby is retarded and needed special training for driving
He is drunk and at home while writing this as you can tell. He wrote to J Kennard Weaver and cannot remember his wife's name.-
***
just put his glasses on so the handwriting may get worse, excuse for not writing his love of vodka- some right by his hand now.
Wondering why Roger and Lori chose Addison as a name it is a fatal disease.
Tells of how Sarge kicked him out because he had the DTs. very drunk then picks up after the drunk wears off he is paying 10.00 a week for court costs and fines. Taking anti abuse pills and says they are not working they are supposed to make you sick and feel like you are having a heart attack. then he talks of the secret meetings gulf had and mama grace calling his father there etc. She thought he was having an affair.
then how he voted the opposite of his father. Norman Thomas & the american ticket John G Schmitz?
well that's disappointing what a total opposite of Norman Thomas
***
July 6 2018
Letters from Father part 2
February 15 1973
oops looks like I am near the goal- and better put these in better date order now the one dated February 15 1973 is chastizing me for using a word and my approach to answering his letter before. Too bad I do not have my reply
but back to sorting and need a peppermint tea right now.
wow that took a while. Ran across Kancaster County sending me a form to fill out. He had applied for assistance and they have to contact all relatives in case they can help. How humiliating for both sides.
January 16 1973
Living with 5 master sergeants and they all use the same writing pad- he thinks I may be able to see other messages.
no I cannot
Telling me that Jerry should take his hitch in the military- only cowards etc.
Got fired at Kayo Oil, it was raining and he gave out a 20 dollar bill instead of a one for change and hasn't been able to find a job since. The state has to know if we ( Jerry & I ) are emplyed.
He lost a buddy and volunteered to clean at the Legion. The buddy was employed by Ed Noyes but Rene didn't know until the guy died. Asks about the Smiths Eddie and Maudie, Joe & Muriel. Also asks about the dentist who put up the fence at Hardings Beach Shores.
I haven't lived there since 1965 and hear from no one there.
A friend almost drove him up here. He lives with a bunch of guys and they go to bars and end up in fights over politics and women.
oh joy
******************
January 29 1973
oh my I made a copy of my reply! I will scan that and add to the blog
January 22 1973
Dear Cynth
at the top says PRIVATE
This may seem pornographic to you...
but destroy it as soon as you read it.
I wouldn't even know how to condense this.
About wanting to get into my pants even when he was changing my diapers as a baby. How he misses me "you little doll". Nice pair of knockers and beautiful ass. ... give his life just to have me laying beside him. Please come down and I will show you what a good time is. Taken 8 years to understand why my daughter isn't standing along side of me and putting her arms around me.
enough.
then the regular letter dealing with master sergeants and politics, paraphrasing this but "you and Jerry have a hell of a lot to learn."
asks how Dottie and Char are doing are they still at 260 Onley...
My rebuttal was February 2 1973 . long and wordy. I do not even care to read it. I feel the same I am sure.
It did put me into a tailspin. I kept fearing that he would show up what would I do? Kill him? what. I went to Dr Whitelaw, he read it and ended up prescribing Librium ( a low dose) which I took until 1996. IF ONLY the doctor had said "It is only words- be strong, you are strong- he is not well"
oh well he didn't.
***********
February 6 1973
two business cards enclosed one signed to me the other to Jerry from Russ Tuckey Ice Follies
Asks about salt bed oysters his roommate says they are dead. Listening to opera so he is quite sober. He explains that he was sober writing the "private" letter but was drinking. He feels it. Sorry that he wrote it but probably true in its context.
The friend still wants to drive him up here. How are Bob and Muriel and is the sailboat still around.
Please forgive me for writing that last letter.
took me about 10 years but forgive and forget and now reading all this again. oh well.
***
February 7 1973
He thought I would react as I did. Then goes on to rehash things and the quitting school issue again. Finding it funny when I called the cops at Kerr lane
it was Duncan lane
then something about me volunteering to swim Oyster river to get the boat then dragging him out of the water and Bob beating him up. ugh but he was proud of me
good grief me swim that distant without water wings! I don't think so
***
October 7 1973
an enclosure of a brochure for
The Gate House
a Halfway House for Recovering Alcoholics
note
Sober and no drinks since May 23 1973
October 14 1973
nice to hear from me after such a long time
Wandering streets ends up in hospital with double pneumonia and they find he has diabetes, they send him to VA for stabilization and now he gives himself a shot each morning and has joined AA. Almost lost his clothes and belongings as they sold the house he was in. Had job at old age home as a custodian. Hasn't seen the ocean since he left here.
***
Thinking I am reading letters that span almost 20 years. 10 of those years steady communication. Kind of inspiring.
At the same time I am reading Bunker Hill by Nathaniel Philbrick and Beautiful and the Damned by F Scott Fitzgerald.
really testing the brain cells
October 17 1973
a letter from me to him either a copy or what- explaining that it was handwritten not typed because the typewriter was under news clippings etc.
**
Still working at Luther acres and doing television repairs and AA meetings. He can get his license back but the insurance is high
***
December 9 1973
a letter with photos from an AA picnic
He will be sending money but no more cash because of the Christmas rush. He is not worried about his license and will not buy gas as it is an artificial shortage.
Running around with a 32 year old nurse right now. Two of the 19 year old waitresses wondered how he felt about someone only 5 years older than him dropping dead.- The accountant dropped dead at the house. the guy who died was 39 they thought dad was 34.
goes on a jew hating rant.
going back to the house to clean the hood flue.
The repairman they had for televisions went and drank too much had the dts and they rushed him to the VA hospital, he is okay now but not allowed back in the house. They declared bankruptcy on the business and folded.
**
December 19 1973
Christmas card to a "Sweetheart"
**
Letter with news clipping about Gate House playing Santa
he has a date with the nurse again
wishes me a merry christmas and sent Burr.
**
July 7 2018
finally completed reading. But as I was clearing off the computer desk here noticed I missed a couple so I will tackle those in a bit they are from the 80s as well.
***
Letters to me from Rene part 3
January 5 1974
Spent a sober new years eve which he does not appreciate.
His girlfriend drove him down to Shartlesville PA and he paid for dinner neither of them drank even though all around them were drinking this was New Years Day. They spent most of the afternoon and evening with Bill and Sarge
Going to her girl friend's house for spaghetti dinner. All but one of his roommates have moved out so he has no one to drop him off.
Blood sugar way up feeling dizzy and faint.
**
January 11 1974
snow sleet rain lousy weather there too. Glad we get the money orders he was worried we could not cash them.
Cannot see the comet as the skies have not been clear.
Hope I enjoy Burr as much as he is enjoying the two books I sent down.
wonder what I sent???
His brother Bill heard from Bob Mortonson for the first time in years over Christmas. Mrs Mortonson has been bedridden for over a year now, that's all Bob told him
***
January 17 1974
birthday card
***
January 15 1974
He missed an AA meeting as there is only one car for 14 people.
Hopes I have a happy birthday and loves getting my letters he saves them for future reference.
they were in a metal check box so he says I wonder what happened to them?
He keeps lending money to people and they get drunk and get thrown out of the Gatehouse, he guesses he is stupid.
Books must have been science fiction
***
January 27 1974
He has moved into a new place and the rent is higher he won't be able to send money for me and Jer. He is looking for a better paying job but has no idea where that will be. Job prospects, printing establishment, chemical plant.
He is living with the young girl friend. separate bed rooms and he has not tried to touch her yet. She is 36 and has had a tough life since she was 5 years old. He has met all her living relatives in the past 3 months and they are all nice. She drove him down to Baltimore to meet her aunt and uncle and that is the first time he has been out of the state since 1966. Her name is Virginia Hufford and she was married back in 1954 but got a divorce as he turned out to be a Momma boy. They have fun running around with her friends and thank goodness none of them drink as he thinks that would kill him this time.
His hands are chapped and dry from the ammonia water he uses cleaning.
Still going to AA meetings A friend from Gatehouse left and he ended up picking him up and getting him a room and sitting with him through the dts. He cracked up his car and is in the hospital now.
At the home they have 9 men and 79 women over 80 years of age
***
August 16 1974
warns me of DES a drug mothers took etc hopes I am getting check ups his girlfriend has a tumor from it. He still hasn't touched her. They should be married by Thanksgiving. He would call but afraid he would get Mom on the phone.
I doubt very much that she would have done or said anything. no clue why I wasn't writing other than Jack and mom separated and Jack sick and died that September
Ginny due for operation September 14 1974
***
February 28 1974
he thought I was teed off at him for not writing sooner
Girlfriend is on the small side but heavy about 5'2" She was a nurses aid at Luther before he worked there. They have a sheepdog that follows him around. Painting the 9' ceiling in his apartment he will have to stand on the top of the ladder to reach. He has hopes of seeing me this Summer (1974?)
June 28 1974
quitjob at Luther and now maintence at Beford shoes and part time custodial jobs
He would have been in the accident he enclosed news clippings about had he not quit Luther Acres.
wonders why I am not writing.
I wonder too other than it is 1974 and all hell broke loose with Jack.
***
January 18 1975
Birthday Card
out of work 1 and a half months buying new house 20 Chester Street Lancaster PA
tell Mom it wasn't the Pez.
***
March 20 1975
wonders why I haven't written- he works in a hosptial 6 days a week and was in the morgue depressing.
Girlfriend has set the date for July 7 her grandmother's birthday.
**
January 16 1978
still wonders why I have not written long letter listing how much he misses and loves all of us- please write please call.
This is so painful to read but I have no clue why I stopped writing.
***
Notes with a self addressed envelope fired from his job as place was sold long letter on small pieces of note paper.
January 1982
sorry so much time between letters he has trouble with his hands. note inside a birthday card
Bill Bob and Debby send him things Debby sent cookies. He has only spent Christmas 1980 at Bill's. His brother has turned into a real asshole. Arguements over the bible
Tha past 16 years have been hell on earth for him.
Loves the Christmas present and everyone says it looks good on him.
February 10 1984
Valentine's card to me with note inside.
Dear Cynth,
It's been 25 years since you and I went to the Father & Daughter's Girl Scout Banquet together. I never could get enough of taking you out and giving you things. I hope you'll send me your ring size of your third finger of your right hand. Thanks for your Christmas present of 2 years ago, the puzzle you sent me was also appreciateed in 1972. I got it apart ok and then couldn't get it together again after and went to the hospital. Love always Dad.
***
January 8 1985 insurance policy for Jerry
***
March 9 1985
He sees I never cashed a check he can barely write and can barely see.
rehashes why I did not write for so long after the letter of 1972
I think it was 1973
He always loved getting my letters. so newsy
Chelsea is a very pretty little girl
I have often regretted that I didn't write to the 3 of you thinking it would ruin your family. oh well I guess that's all water over the dam
ps I would still love pictures of you and your mother.
I tore up the check and it is with this last letter.
***
His brother Bill died March 29 1985
and we got the phone call from Bill Jr I think on July 15 1985 that my father had died.
Bill Jr thinks he died of a broken heart over his brother Bill dying.
***
I began reading the letters again thinking I had blown the "Private" letter way out of proportion. I had not .It was a real shock emotionally that lasted a long time. Re reading all of these was so sad. Seeing so many lives touched by alcohol.
I am glad I pursued this and feel comfortable forgiving and forgetting again.
***
now to read the few that were with greeting card pile on this desk. I am about out of tears.
I think these last three are best scanned.
**
here goes- this was probably the most painful of all of them. I have no clue why I stopped writing. I must have had a reason as I write to just about anyone incessantly!
The very last one of these is the very last letter I received from him January 1985.
well that is it. I am glad I did this in 4 days. I am completely emotionally exhausted.
