November 13
Saturday is shopping for food day among other things. I have lists and the challenge to myself is to get back here before lunchtime. My routine is to slowly bring each bag upstairs to the kitchen. One bag at a time, they are heavy for me. I set the bag down on the counter and wash my hands. Then I fill the kettle hoping to have water boiled for coffee and a cookie. If I am close to noon I boil water in the pan for preparing lunch. I unpack that one bag and wipe the contents off and hang that bag on the open kitchen door. Then down to the truck again for another bag. Back up here I empty the second bag and wipe off the packages and set aside to air dry. Now I have 2 reusable shopping bags that I take outside to the deck to air as I do all the bags used.. I am really hungry and want to move this process along. I open the door 2 bags in hand and 4 clothes pins to secure them. I step down and see a large form out of the corner of my right eye coming up the stairs. The sun is in my eyes and I cannot see who it is. I gasped and involuntarily put my left hand over my heart. I swear my heart stopped. The person said something to the effect that they were sorry they startled me. and that they thought I was coming out to greet them. I said " I didn't even know someone was here." I could feel my face freeze into a scowl when I asked her what she wanted. She kept coming closer to me so I set down the clothes pins and backed back into the kitchen. She was in my face like she thought she was coming in for a social visit and have tea and a tour of the apartment. My mind as rattled as it was- I was thinking- this is still covid times I do not have on a mask and neither did she. Totally infuriating that she did not instantly back off and state what she wanted. She apologized for frightening me again. Said her husband had locked his keys in the office. I said I would be right down. She acted like I was going to hand the keys to her from there! The keys were still in the door knob below. I had to grab a new fresh mask, tie that on and get down there. I wanted to get this over with as I was still angry at her pushiness. Good grief make some noise or call out my name or knock on something. DO NOT sneak up those stairs and scare me half out of my wits.
So I get below with the key and she is standing there- the husband is standing by the office door. She apologizes again and I say- I wonder why people come up those stairs- I do have them blockaded, I thought sufficiently. I guess not. Maybe I need a sign or cowbells or something.
I open the door while saying Hi to him and say I hope I do not drop MY key in the crack of the stoop.Back up here I was still fuming. And shaking and thinking how close I came to pushing someone down the flight of stairs as a normal reaction to someone NOT identifying themselves and continuing to advance. I have absolutely no privacy here. People let their dogs run loose, smoke cigarettes all around the apartment and stamp out the butts. Piss in the shower area and on the stones by my door. Make cell phone calls while standing below like it is their own territory.
ugh I am exhausted.
So it was a good thing I got to hike with my friend for 4 hours. It helped to ease the panic and fear that lasted all day long.
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